(Happy sigh)  I love my friends who understand me!!!

Tomorrow it is back to the land of cow, ethenal, and constant companionship from greet people.

See you all very, very soon!!

Disclaimer: The following is the ramblings of a confused individual who just needs to share what's on her mind and ponderings that have come up from time to time.

As my return to Hastings comes closer and closer, I have come to the conclusion that there is something wrong with me.  I go to school and when I am there it is like I'm this different person, except with close friends.  See I've spent the better part of my life playing the part of what I think people want me to be rather than just being me.  I think that this may be the key to my relationships, or lack their of, with the opposite gender.  I am so afraid of rejection, humilation, and being put now by people that I have this walled exterior that stops me from being who I am.  Better to hide behind the wall and appear to be happy and what people want to see, than take the chance of showing me and being hurt.  But not this year.  My personal goal is to be the same me at school that I was over the summer.  To let go of all the emotional and psycological shit that a not so fantastic childhood has breed into me.  I just want to be me and I think I'm finially ready to say, "Screw you world I just don't care what you think anymore."

Sorry for the weirdness of the post but I took a cue from another zanga-er and did some needed random venting.

Well, the time is fast approaching to return to school.  I'm ready and excite.  Which is strange because I use to dreed the return to school back in high school.  College is different though because I actually like my classes and most of the people I spend time with. 

Updates since last time:

1. I got together with a bunch of old high school friends, some of which I had not seen since the summer before college.  It was a great time and it was interesting to see that some people will never change (good or bad) and the some people change (again good or bad). 

2.  My car gotten broken into between 3am and 4am one morning while parked in front of my house.  Someone (or more than one person) used a glass cutter to remove the window followed by the removal of my CD Player.  We didn't hear anything until the police knocked on our door. (They were called by someone down the street who heared their car window break and the police checked the rest of the cars on our street.  Luck me I won the prize).

3. Two more days of work left for the summer!!!!!!

Happy days to all of you out there in cyberspace!